Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Jesus is a Stud

Ann Arbor MI has been the subject of conversation, especially for those who watch daytime television.

Nuns from the Dominican Sisters of Mary spoke openly on Oprah's foolishness about their day to day life of illusion.

These ladies enter the convent as aspirants, many as teenagers, which is why the average age of those serving at the convent is 28; fairly young. I guess it's easier to screw up a viable brain when it's still in infancy, though the nuns proclaim that they try to discern god's will for a young woman. That may seem arrogant to some, but it isn't too tough to figure out what god is thinking; he hasn't progressed in a couple of thousand years. After an eight year journey, they marry Jesus.

Let me say that again, they marry Jesus. Studly bastard he is.

I love/hate the twist on brainwashing. When they enter the convent they are given clothes, (the ones they wore there are sent back to family). The first year is focused on studying, praying and training. The first year they are allowed three visits from family, allowed to write three letters and zero phone calls. The sisters admit that during the first year, they have to break away from friends and family. I mean, how else can the perversion of young minds take hold?

After the aspirant stage of waterboarding, they become postulants; oh joy. They take courses in sacred scripture and on catholic doctrine. They learn interpersonal skills, you know, the ones they were robbed of when taken away from social intercourse.

Looks like it takes about eight years to be totally screwed up and ready for the wedding to Jesus.

One of the new wives, (maybe the mormons should check this out), talks about how Jesus is the perfect husband. It's a self sacrificing love, it's like no love that's on earth which, in some punitive manner, makes it perfect.

One of the sisters comments that she remembers her last job. She had a laptop, a cell phone and a PDA. "It's so freeing to be without those things and knowing that I can focus on what's more important, which is the infinite, the eternal."

Brainwashing excellence bar none.

They actually marry jesus twice during their stay, the second and final time they prostrate themselves on the floor.

Then they're given a nice white shafted, black hooded vibrator to while away there days. Its called the penguin pulsator. They claim that the pulsator, and the ever popular "jesus on a rope" keeps them happy all day long.

Looks like someone's going to hell.

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