Saturday, January 14, 2012


I finally had a chance to swim today and it was awesome. Usually when I open the gate and walk onto the deck, the pool is full of people treading water. Well, some bounce up and down in the shallow end, exercise of some sort I'm sure. Never very inviting to me; I'm a fish

Well, maybe I'm a grizzly. I stalk the deck growling at the water's inhabitants. Every so often take a swipe at them with my long arms. No reaction. Bastards. I head back home where I feed on fermented fruits and work on my temper. They'll be sorry.

I was born in California and the earliest pictures of me are running around on the beach. Growing up in the Chicago area, on every sunny day of every summer I was hanging out at the community's pool. I was in the water always; swam in school and was a fairly good diver. 

Of course when young I was involved in many sports. Participated in track as well where I ran and ran; racing around the track. Leaping hurdles with abandon, I was an antelope as well.

So not being able to swim a few laps, which my out of shape body needs, has been driving me crazy. I try different times of the day, always seems crowded when I show up. Last year while visiting, I only got in one swim the entire time I was here and that was in the unheated pool. Jo tossed a frisbee and I couldn't help but chase it down, even as it plunged into the water. Apparently on many days I'm a dog. In fact I remember being called a dog by many women, so must be true. 

Always had pools in the family after growing up and moving out of Illinois. The first home I bought in Michigan had an in ground pool in the backyard. Great selling point for me. Had a young stepdaughter and her and her friends had great times there. Hell, I had great times as well. Great diving board, not some crappy springboard, but one where you could actually get altitude. I scared the hell out of my second wife and friends many a time. I flip around in a pike position over and over because of course, I'm also a dolphin.

I've thought about the fun I've had in all the pools, lakes and oceans in my life. Great times all. I think, how do I get the people lazily hanging around in my habitat to move. I mean, it is my habitat, because I'm a fish. I dream about creating a large whirlpool that sucks them all into the vortex and down into the depths of the world leaving me my private water, but though the dream is fun the reality is they're still there.

Then finally, I show up and no one is in the pool. Oh yeah, my personal playground. I hiccup a few times to get the gills a moving and jump in. I read an article about humans and fish sharing that gene but I really don't know much about science or mathematics or anything else; hey, today I'm a fish.

But finally, a long glorious swim. Backstroke, sidestroke, breaststroke and all the damn strokes; yeah baby. Damn signs said no diving, but hell, a couple of quick back dives from the side of the pool were in order and how can anyone not do a can opener or some such dive that throws water all over the place? I leap in the air, spread my legs and grab my balls; The Preacher is what we called that when I was young. Seemed appropriate at the time.

Apparently, though I am human first, I am everything. 

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