The Planet - May 5, 2013

CLIMATE CHAOS

Apparently eating slightly more healthy may help stall climate change. During Earth Week, measurements of carbon dioxide emissions surpassed 400 parts per million. A recent study claims that by reducing consumption of animal products by twenty-five percent would essentially stall the process of climate change. So , eat your damn burgers but every fourth one make it a veggie burger please. You'll be healthier, live longer, and you won't piss me off. All good, especially the pissing off part.

Of course, whenever there's a way to help stave off severe weather patterns and global warming, you know someone has the job of confusing the issue. Science deniers over at the FOX fools network decided to interview Joe the bastard, I mean Joe Bastardi, who once again perverted the science on climate by pointing to a late snow storm. Because you know, that's all it takes. One freak weather pattern means all the science is gibberish, even if he never mentioned the intense heat wave last year, doesn't mention the arctic ice meltdown, and doesn't even throw in the La Nina weather pattern that is effecting the U.S. with cooler temperatures. Hey, when your audience has less intelligence than the rocks in your garden, who cares?

Yet on another front, milk consumption is down again. For the last twenty years milk has been on a downhill slide. If more people gave up on copious amounts of dairy, that would help the planet as well. Factory farms polluting the environment and cranking out tons of poisoned dairy just isn't embraced by mother earth. 

Of course, our friendly theists, given a chance, will fuck up this world and every living thing on it. If you believe that the world has a set day to end, what does it matter that we're destroying it ourselves? As an example of how pervasive the thought is, in 2010, the chairman of the Subcommittee on Environment and the Economy stated the "the earth will end only when god declares it to be over."

Christian conservatism at it's best. No worries, god's in charge. Any action taken cannot destroy what will be destroyed by that big fluffy thing that resides in their wittle minds.

GUN GROUPIES

Jim Porter takes over as the new president of the NRA,(Needle-nozzle Rat-faced  Asswipes). Jim calls the Civil War the "War of Northern Agression." You thought the last guy was a little strange? This guy says he believes that civilians should be taught how to fire military weapons so they're ready to defend the country when called upon, or better yet, ready to contest tyranny. Obama is a fake president and this guy is digging in to fight the battle. I'd join the NRA to get close enough to this guy to spit on him, but I hear to be a member these days you have to cut off your balls and worship the Buddha-bellied Porter to join. I hope he digs a big trench to defend himself against the "tyrannical government" running the show these days; at least we'd have a chance to bury this perfect example of a "big gun little dick" neanderthal.

Conservative controlled Kansas is ready to embrace Mr. Porter with laws that would make it a felony to enforce federal gun laws. Not to be outdone, and for our great amusement, Arizona has decided to add legislation to the existing laws prohibiting local governments from destroying weapons. Oh joy. Voluntarily surrendered guns will not be destroyed, but sold back to the public or used by the police force. Get rid of those animals on the endangered species list and replace them with one endangered specie, guns. Savage people need savage slogans, maybe something easily understood by the nattering, reality show watching, cousin fucking inbreds that seem to enjoy this nonsense. I'll let them come up with it, why help stupid?

And stupid exists. The Needle-nozzle Rat-faced Asswipes have another great concept to protect the home. Store your guns in your little idiot offspring's bedroom. That's the ticket. Just in case little Bobby can't find the gun hidden in the house somewhere, show him right where he can find it. The thought behind this is if there is an intruder, do you want to run around the house getting a gun, or run to your child's room to protect him. Just put the gun in Jimmy's closet, all is good.

The Needle-nozzle Rat-faced Asswipe convention in Houston Texas had some great stuff for women. Since women are more anti-gun then men, the professors of advertisement have come up with some really cool shit. My favorite so far is women's underwear holsters. Yes, that brassiere that one may think holds a couple of fun loving puppies, may now also contain a lovely pink gun and matching holster. I am all in favor of this new development; I mean, can you imagine being on the street where there's a lady defending some damn thing by stripping so she can reach that gun? You'll be able to spot them ahead a time, they're the ones driving the vehicle with a bumper sticker proclaiming that "I Carry a Gun, A Cop is Too Heavy!"

With recent killing of children in schools, capitalist America responds. No, we're not doing background checks or limiting magazines, no sir. We are now producing Bulletproof Whiteboards! For only 300 dollars you can have a whiteboard for lessons, and self-defense. 

The Onion has an NRA schedule of events posted here. They probably think it's a great joke, and it is, but I think of it as being too close to reality for comfort. Here's a few to get you started:

The National Rifle Association is holding its 142nd annual meeting in downtown Houston this weekend. Here are the scheduled events:

FRIDAY, May 3

• 12 p.m.: Welcoming introduction video from President Obama
• 12:30 p.m.: Security forced to hold back squealing teenage girls in attendance as Wayne LaPierre takes stage
• 12:35 p.m.: Quick joke about how everyone in attendance must have passed a background check to warm up the crowd
• 1 p.m.: Most unconscionable words you could ever imagine met with enthusiastic cheers from thousands of people
• 3 p.m.: Remembrance of the victims of Sandy Hook with an extended moment of loud, scrambling excuse-making
• 6 p.m.: Reasoned, level-headed debate on whether the Second Amendment continues to hold relevance

RAMPAGING RELIGION

The year of 2013 brings us more bills to set the clock backwards hundreds of years, all made possible by our theist friends. Montana, Missouri, Oklahoma, Indiana, (the Mississippi of the north), and Arizona are all trying to infiltrate the public school systems with creationism once again. We keep striking it down, but they never quit. It's like the never ending supply of protestors at abortion clinics; the fun never stops. 

Louisiana's Governor Bobby Jindal would like to seecreationism taught side by side with evolution. His statement, "what are we afraid of," deserves a little bit of thought; very little. We're sure not scared of your fantasies about how the world began, we know it as a truth that this is false. All we're afraid of is raising another generation of imbeciles that will continue to destroy all that is good.

I know that some of this may sound a little far-fetched, but all you have to do is listen to Mr. Romney. Recently Mitt advised the graduating class of Southern Virginia University to graduate and then have a load of young ones. The Quiver Full philosophy to keep you women home and useless continues without hardly a blip on the left's radar.

RACE RIOTS

Here's one little example of how race is still used as talking points for the ugly white Americans who still exist in this country. Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern says she's seen "a lot of people of color who didn't study hard because they said the government would take care of them." State Representative Leslie Osborn proposed the constitutional amendment that would eliminate the use of Affirmative Action in the state government. Kern, deciding she had room in her mouth for her other foot as well, continued boldly into the twilight zone by arguing that minorities earn less because they don't work as hard. Whoa nilly, the ride is getting bumpy. She also states that "we have a high percentage of blacks in prison and that's tragic, but are they in prison because they are black or because they don't want to study as hard in school?" Kern was a teacher, so relies on first hand experience. Black americans are basically lazy fools who get what they deserve. 

She's not new to controversy, she also introduced a bill to ban Sharia law and another that would allow creationism in public schools. Her thoughts on gays are as obnoxious, "gays are infiltrating city councils and are the biggest threat our nation has."

Hey thinking ladies, some of your gender makes me sick. No more than my own, just saying.

Time for tequila.

A Sunday Planet - January 6, 2013

AMERICAN ANGST

Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman finished off 2012 with a press release declaring that Kwanzaa is a made up holiday that liberals are shoving down America's throat to divide the country. Apparently we brought in a shiny brand new year with the same old tarnished white guys.

Speaker of the House John Boehner was reelected; barely. Tea party insanity will continue, there were even votes for Allen West, who isn't even serving in the coming term. The first vote came from my crazed representative Justin Amash, who picked Raul Labrador, the representative from Idaho. Have no clue who he is, but if my guy voted for him, he must be one tasteless fruitcake.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton received the usual respect from the right. After a hospital stay to take care of a blod clot, which doctors state was possibly life threatening, our friendly compassionate conservatives decided the medical condition was fabricated. Dancing on the woes of the ill is nothing new from the right, many Americans have seen that dance in their own lives. I haven't heard an apology from that side, the party has not changed no matter how many pundits insist they must.

In fact, millions of Americans in need are being shafted by the right. No relief funds for the east coast victims of Sandy. Instead once again, a bill to repeal the Affordable Care Act was voted on. Thirty three times they've wasted our time and money voting on nonsense while Americans suffer. 

The only good news I could find concerning our conservative friends was about former House Majority Leader Tom Delay getting three years in prison for money laundering. I think most conservatives should be locked up for crimes against humanity, but Americans are cowards and will not stand up to authority.

Though all Americans are being ignored by the compassionate conservatives, women are still taking the the brunt of the most atrocious inaction by the legislators still in office.

WICKED WOMEN

The Violence Against Women Act was not reauthorized by the House. Apparently the bill included protections for immigrants, the LGBT community and native Americans and our compassionate conservatives, (yes, I am enjoying these two words today), decided that some of us are not deserving of protection.

Women, you're getting dumped on early in 2013.

A site is allowing anonymous tips on women who may be prostitutes. If you're the lucky woman that some neanderthal wishes to mess with, he can post your name on this site, and for you to remove it you will have to ante up. Extortion at its best as crudeness reigns supreme.

Texas has successfully defunded Planned Parenthood. What is mind boggling is that woman haven't left the state in droves yet. Find a new doctor ladies, one that Texan men approve of; if you're allowed to leave the house that is.

Steubenville Ohio is geting a lot of attention after images and a video of a young man laughing about the rape were circulated. The young lady was carried to three different parties while passed out. Apparently it is amusing to some to rape, sodomize and urinate on a young lady. What an awesome culture we have in the U.S. Anonymous's KnightSec is gathering all the data on one site. At times we are disgusting animals. Quit pointing your fingers overseas at humans doing horrible things to other humans and look in your own backyard.

Are you feeling the hate yet ladies?

In Virginia, legislation is going into effect that will close many of the state's abortion clinics. I hear the demand for coat hangers is on the rise. Excuse that last line, but what are you waiting for?

This is how bad it is. In Texas, two ladies were pulled over for allegedly tossing a cigarette butt out the window. The officer tells the ladies he smells marijuana and wants to search the car. They let him search, no marijuana found. He then gives a sobriety test to the driver, she passes. He still decides they are druggies, so he tells them he has to search their bodies. He calls in a female trooper who dons some latex gloves and goes to work. One finger probes the rear, two the front; state troopers are your new gynecologists. 

Ladies, not only are you figuratively being stomped on, you're literally being pissed on.

EARTH ENEMIES

The gentleman who helped get lead out of our gasoline, Howard Mielke, is now looking at America's cities. Apparently lead content in the soil is high enough to be dangerous. Hey Timmy, why don't you go out and play for a while.

Another year for climate change record-breaking that will more than likely go unnoticed in the States. Drill for it, refine it, burn it; keep it going until the planet dies. On a recent drive through central Illinois I noticed the wind farms spread around the Bloomington area. Apparently it's brought in almost six billion to the local economy and is providing safe renewable energy. Oil lobbyists will continue to pay off conservatives to stop us from progressing into fossil fuel independence. So compassionate.

The desire to ignore the destruction of our planet continues. The NOAA has decided to not investigate the wildly underestimated BP oil spill. Keep those blinders on America.

A twisted Farm Bill was extended by congress. The usual planet destroying moves by our compassionate conservatives is so commonplace as to be expected. Five billion in subsidies to industrial farms for corn, soy and wheat while organics, beginning farmers, locally grown food and conservation efforts were decimated. Though I understand the need for production, I'm not sure that should trump any attempts to create sustainable farming methods. 

Mountain top removal in the Appalachians is being linked to American illness. The easy access to coal continues even though 21 peer-reviewed scientific studies have confirmed what we already suspected; besides over 500 permanently destroyed mountains, if you live in the area you can expect a shorter lifespan than the rest of the country. 50% more odds of dying of cancer and 42% more likely birth defects than those who live in other parts of the Appalachians. The refrain is getting boring, but fossil fuels kill.

GUN GROUPIES

In New Hampshire, House of Representatives conservatives were outraged that they can not carry a concealed gun into the chamber. What the heck is wrong with these people? This is not the wild west. Basically the argument these fine gentlemen made was that credit cards and pens were just as dangerous as that Glock under your coat.

Keep on killing Americans, it's what you do best.

MEDIA MADNESS

Our less evolved friends at FOX have climbed another rung in their goal to reach heretofore unknown heights of ridiculousness. The bastion of hate and irrelevance continues to annoy. I don't think people realize how odd they really are. Their latest war is on yoga and those crazed yoga nazis. The wussification of American is continuing, in their eyes, by allowing children to do yoga. 

Yeah, sit the little monkeys on a couch with a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a game controller in the other. War games for all, kill kill kill.

FINAL FIX

I was updating my blog yesterday, (have been ignoring it for a few months), and noticed I actually had a reply to one! 

Come on now, give me some of that loving:

Explain to me what happens after we croak AND our body rots in the grave, turning into Riga Mortizzze? Can't, can you? Very good. I'll do the explain'n. Our soul's indelible (never dying, eternal, living-after-death), thus, they rise to be Divinely Judged. Git the picture?? Whetha you wanna believe me or not is fine, yet, that's the axiomatic fact. Here's what I'd do. Go to your local Catholic choich and enroll in the RCIA; should be over within 9 months, long enough to have a spiritual 'baby' on your hands --- If God doesn’t exist, why do you hate Him so much? If God does exist, why don’t you follow us Home to Heaven Above if you‘re gonna croak as I am? How long do we have to enjoy this finite existence? 77ish, measly years? Compared to the length and breadth of eternity, 77ish years is like the micron of a nanometer in the whole, bloody, universe; thus, our soul’s eternal whether you wanna believe in us or not. So, why don’t we have a BIG-ol, roxx-our-holy-soxx, party-hardy celebrating our resurrection for many eons? Heaven TOTALLY kicks-ass for eternity. Thank you proFUSEly, for the wick is running out on U.S. _thewarningsecondcoming.com_

Thank you so much. When the theists find you you've finally arrived.

AMERICAN ANGST

Paul Ryan has been channeling Tod Akins, the "legitimate rape" gentleman. On WJHL, during an interview, Ryan stated that there is no reason for an abortion, ever. His exact words, "the method of conception doesn't change the definition of life."

If you've been raped, it's just making love on a different level. 

The right's seeming disregard for females continues. Akin jumped back into the fray with his statement that Senator McCaskill was "much more ladylike in 2006." It would have been a gift if he would have defined "ladylike" to us all so we can be sure what a lady should be. I would really enjoy hearing conservatives defining the gender, would be an eye opener for all.

Senator Brown of Massachusetts has decided that he can't beat his democratic challenger on the issues of the day, so he's decided to attack Elizabeth Warren personally. During a recent debate, Brown stayed on topic. Unfortunately the topic focused on Warren's statement years past that she had Native American heritage. This was never used for securing employment, only a statement. I don't see why this even matters, but I guess attacking his opponent instead of discussing policies is a safer bet for the gentleman.

Even worse, at a rally his deputy chief of staff and others got the crowd excited by making "war whoops" and "tomahawk chops." I'm sure Native Americans are not as excited as his supporters apparently are.

For those not paying attention, Romney's energy plan show's a complete disregard for the citizenry and science. His plan expands fossil fuel use and derides renewable energy by ending subsidies for clean energy. No mention of climate change anywhere in the plan, keep this is mind if you intend to vote for him. Even better, let me know why this is good.

Joining the Romney team is Dan Senor, who spoke for Romney on Libya and Egypt. This is one of President George W. Bush's selections because of his loyalty to him and the political party, not because of any expertise. "Bagdad Dan" ignored what was happening in Iraq and concentrated on generating spin for the American public that made everything look fine.

My favorite conservative mantra this week that is being yelled from the rooftops is that the polls on the election are showing Obama taking a commanding lead cannot be correct. All the talking heads, including my favorite bender of facts, Rush Limbaugh, are crying foul. They believe this to be a liberal media plot to get conservatives to stay home come election day.

The best take on this foolishness came from Colbert:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

The Honorable Allen West was in the news for vocalizing his thoughts on President Obama's speech to the United Nations. He posted the following nonsense on FB:

My statement to the United Nations would have been, "The future does not belong to those who attack our Embassies and Consulates and kill our Ambassadors. The Angel of Death in the form of an American Bald Eagle will visit you and wreak havoc and destruction upon your existence." I know readers dislike when I start calling those I disagree with belittling names, but really?

Mr. West is from Florida, one of the states doing their best to disenfranchise voters. There they feel the need to protect the election from voting fraud, and the best way to do that is make sure minorities are not allowed to vote. We've heard about the firm that was involved in voter fraud in Florida, the conservative firm run by Nathan Sproul, seems to be the culprit. What may not be as well known is that many conservative states were doing business with his Strategic Allied Consulting firm. The RNC has now dropped the company, which was involved in registering the dead. 

All the "voter fraud" laws being battled appear to be in conservative run states. I was surprised to learn how small a margin our current president had in those states; now I know why conservatives are trying to dismantle the federal voter protection laws through local legislation. These are the same tactics they used in eliminating women health care providers by circumventing Roe vs. Wade.

In Ohio where they tried to eliminate three days of early voting, the president won by 262,224 votes. The republican controlled state legislature, if they had their way, would have eliminated 100,000 votes during that time. Then you tack on another almost 15,000 votes that they tried to eliminate if provisional ballots were filed in the wrong precinct. They lost that battle as well, but since an overwhelming majority of these votes have been for democrats in the past, you can see what they have in mind.

Pennsylvanians favored the president in 2008 by over 620,000 votes. The new voter I.D. laws would exclude as many as 759,000 voters. 

They tried the same law in Wisconsin, where it was overruled by the state's Supreme Court. Obama won by over 400,00 votes there.

In Iowa they have given up on trying to purge registered voters. Obama won by 146,000 votes.

Florida, Tennessee, New Mexico; all states where conservative leadership is in the process of disenfranchising a basic American right. I only list all this data to make it very clear how conservatives intend to win. Lying and cheating is the apparent game plan for 2012.

The Citizen's United ruling is now having an effect on our election. Corporate political spending has reached 78% of campaign funding. If you think anyone getting elected is there to serve the interests of the public, I have a bridge to sell you.

Atheists are seemingly tired of both parties, at least when it comes to religion. The Secular Coalition of America finds that a resolution from the U.S. House of Representatives excludes many Americans. That resolution "reaffirms the importance of religion in the lives of United States citizens." I think we all know which religion is important.

California has an interesting ballot initiative this fall dealing with GMO labels on food products. Though Monsanto and allies have spent 32.5 million dollars in trying to keep this off the ballot, Californians favor the initiative 2 to 1. With luck this will spread across the country, especially with Monsanto corn being in the news. Russia has decided not to buy Monsanto corn after a recent French study that linked the corn and the herbicide roundup to cancer and organ failure.

GOD'S GREATEST

Another war on reality has hit the airwaves. John Hagee stated to Glenn Beck that the Civil War was ended by President Lincoln with his call to a national day of fasting and prayer. That's what we need now, prayer for the upcoming election. It does seem that the religious right's goal is to rewrite history as fast as they can. Lincoln's call to fasting and prayer took place two years before the war ended. Pesky facts. 

The Pope weighed in on the gay scourge. According to the supreme leader of all sheep, gays are not fully developed people. Apparently he's a bit peeved by France's move to legalize marriage for all. His exact wording was that the catholic values of marriage and family must be obeyed to"permit the full development of the human person." Possibly this is a step forward, at least gays are now considered people, even if they are incomplete.

All we can hope for is that religious leaders keep talking, it's how they will be exposed as the conmen that they are.

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon decides that the religious are more important than humans. As the Blasphemy laws are once again injected into global discussion, he thinks that limiting free speech is okay when referencing religion. No way buddy.

GUN GROUPIES

Another horrible story that revolves around our love of firepower. A Connecticut teacher shoots his own child, thinking that his target was a robber. 

Every year 31,000 Americans are killed and over 66,000 injured by guns. Over 18,000 people kill themselves and almost 600 are shot by accident. I know, nobody really cares. Second amendment guarantees our right to be armed to the teeth, and for some their lack of reasoning guarantees that people will die.

In a seven day period ending September 20th, the TSA found 47 guns, (38 loaded), 3 inert hand grenades, hunting knives, black powder, fuses and a sword. We're into this fantasy of power that the righteous use of weapons of destruction in the U.S. gives us. 

Since crime is rampant and guns are easy to get,  the city of Camden in New Jersey - the most dangerous city in the country - is disbanding the police force. Like the NFL referees, the unionized police force is just too darn expensive. This should work out well if you're looking to save money, not so much if you're looking to save people.

FOOD FIGHT

The small story, a woman was abused at a local Kroger's for using food stamps. After having her groceries rung up, she was told she owed ten dollars. Knowing that her food stamps covered the purchase, she argued the point. The store manager gave in, but not after letting her know what he thought. 

"He finally just said, 'Okay, just give it to her.' I said, 'See, I told you it was covered by food stamps,' and he said, 'Excuse me for working for a living and not relying on food stamps!'"

The big story is from my home state which is experimenting with another sly way of getting rid of welfare recipients. The new policy that is in effect will tie welfare cash to school attendance. Conservatives are claiming, and most of us would probably agree, that children should be in school; that their future is in jeopardy if they are truant.

Unfortunately for the state, I have a policy expert in the house. Some quick notes from online sources. There is no study that shows that truancy is a problem only of the poor. Some also think that this is not the right kind of encouragement; taking away food seems to be drastic. The talking heads keep defining truancy as ten or more unexcused absences, but that is not in the new policy.

The following is Jo's interpretation of the policy.

DHS policy change

DHS policy change

The Michigan Department of Human Services (DHS) is implementing a policy change for families receiving cash assistance effective October 1, 2012. This caught my attention as it hit national news this week. Being a retired policy writer for DHS, I had to go check out the details in DHS policy.

I discovered that 16 and 17 year old children must be attending school full time. 18 year olds must be attending high school full time in order to receive cash assistance.

High school means a course of study leading to a high school diploma or it's equivalency and includes all of the following:

Adult basic education.
Alternative education
Charter school
Non-public school
Vocational or technical training.

School means:
Public school
Non-public school registered with DOE
Home school

It appears that whether or not a child is "attending," and if full or part time is up to the school to determine. School verification forms are automatically generated on the child's birthday every year beginning at age 16. Shouldn't the definition of truancy be spelled out and applied uniformly if at all?

It also appears that if the "truant" child is the only child in the family, all cash benefits stop. If he/she is only one of multiple qualifying children, the family suffers a reduction in the amount of cash assistance.

I could not find historic policy online, but my memory is that in the past, 16 and 17 year olds not attending school full time used to be referred to a work program. If non compliant with that program, penalties were applied to the family, but at least they were given an alternative.

While reviewing current policy I also noticed that a change was implemented some time in the last 2 1/2 years. Policy used to allow cash assistance to continue for 19 year olds who were attending high school full time when expected to graduate before age 20. This no longer applies.

We all know of a teenager, some from well educated, affluent families who lose their way in high school and are unsuccessful students. We also know of children who were held back and who do not have the opportunity to graduate before age 19. What about special education students? Should parents of these children lose their possibly only source of income because of this? Who is this helping?

I was unable to locate any case studies on this topic online, or the philosophy behind this change. Could it be that we have the pleasure of having a republican governor who is hell bent on building a new bridge from Michigan to Canada?

Bridge first. Michigan's Families somewhere lower on Mr. Snyder's priority list.

Neal again. 

This raises the question, how do we treat those in need? Those who are temporarily having a hard time because of the economy, those who are locked into generational poverty, what is the correct action to take? Ridicule? Patronize? Sympathize? Maybe a swift kick to get them moving?

Conservatives think that by cutting off aid those less fortunate will either get off their rears and work, or die. Either way it solves the problem.