Another Fish Tail

I am a fish, a very dry one. I hang out on the deck, flipping my fins uselessly. The air doesn't seem to care. I watch the water, wanting to flip in, but it is filled with non-swimming humans. 

Now, I know that humans swim, at least when they are young. But here is water filled with humans who have lived a long life, but apparently nowhere near water. All I need is some space; a path to make it from one side to the other of this body of water. But groups of humans are hanging out everywhere. No one moving. A few water wings and floating devices are glimpsed every so often, but not a splash anywhere.

Looking at the obstacle course, I think I will turn into fish jerky by the time I can get my scales a dunking. Will they ever leave? Squatting in my pond, hats on their heads, glasses on; what the hell? You can't swim like that! Chatting and laughing, so I guess it must be fun, but can't they do this on the deck? Not much difference that I can tell.

Then a few start to move towards the steps, hurray! Maybe soon will be able to get wet and a little exercise. I watch a few humans slowly move out with glee. Then I notice their bottoms are very large, better not be a depends day or some old fuck is getting their ass kicked. Jo informs me that it is probably real body features, since she says there are slimmer garments for people in pools. Doesn't make me much happier, but have to go with the flow. 

Slowly they depart and I think, "I'll let the chemicals swirl around for awhile before I jump in." Yeah, that's the ticket. Sterilize the crap. Then I notice a new group starting to get in. Damn. The pool is heated, yet they go in one step at a time, getting used to the water slowly. "Get your asses in there bitches!" Though I want to yell that I refrain and watch. Slowly my scales turn to parchment as I watch more bobbing; great.

Now I'm thinking I will never get in, might as well give up. Then a slow exodus happens once again. Woohoo! This time I'm going to get in. Down to about three people and they're all in the shallow end. Oh yeah. I flip up to the edge of the deep end and notice the large signs saying no diving. Really? Hell, from what I've seen they should have signs that say, "no swimming," or maybe, "no splashing."

There hasn't been a single splash of water since I've been laying here.

The "no diving" signs are accompanied by the warning, "shallow water." I guess that's the reason for no diving, but the depth marker on the side of the pool says, "six feet." Damn, give me three feet and I can dive in safely.

Okay, so no diving. I jump, (it's not diving), into the deep end of the pool and plunge to the bottom. Finally relief. Hang out on the bottom for awhile, hoping not to see anything that looks like a baby ruth, then pop out like a cork on a shaken bottle of Dom Perignon. I look around and see the startled faces of the crowd. Their faces saying "what the hell is going on here?" Screw them.

Only three left, so I slowly start swimming the deep end. As I grab a breath I notice the last three looking at me. They move to the steps needing to escape I guess. Well, now the water is mine. I swim a few laps, do a couple laps under water; you know, having fun.

No one joins me.

After a half hour I decide to let them have the pool back. I get out, feeling the angry stares of my peers. I almost feel like I've ruined their day. I'm trying to figure out what is up here. I can't ever see being in a pool and not moving. Is this going to happen to me? Does aging limit the body so much that floating around a pool all on your own is too difficult. I've heard them conversing with each other about church and religion. Hell, they're all part of the blessed group, what are they afraid of? Come on, say a few "Hail Mary's" and go for it. Get under the damn water. Pretend you're being reborn or something. Show me some, (not literally), balls. You people don't look that frail.

I wonder if I should ask them if they've ever been swimmers. I feel the need for the answer. I want to know if this is the destination I'm speeding towards. If it is, I'm not liking.

Today I will return. It is sunny and beautiful. Hopefully when they see me they'll just get the fuck out of my way.

Eternity

Listening is more fun. Eternity.mp3


If life is just a blip instead of a guzzle only a sip
meaning slides away becoming only wordplay
for our life is not long and death is where we belong
to start the part of forever that is the song of the tricksters

If life is just a blip instead of a guzzle only a sip
then lets do whatever with all of our vigor
smash and trash the earth waiting for our rebirth
life is not the reality and to our death go boldly

Eternity, why waste our time
life starts at the end of the line
everything will be just fine
for your life is divine

If life is just a blip, instead of a guzzle only a sip
why play the game when living is so lame
your not doing any good just eating all my food
grab yourself a razor and head for the hereafter

If life is just a blip, instead of a guzzle only a sip
why are you here drinking all of my beer
get your ass off the planet use a knife or a hatchet
don't think I'm nasty I'm just upping the ante

Eternity, why waste our time
life starts at the end of the line
everything will be just fine
for your life is divine

Life is not a blip, it is a guzzle not a sip
meaning and love does not come from above
this is the season to grab on to reason
and enjoy the daily taste of life that's not a waste

Life is not a blip, it is a guzzle not a sip
enjoy the grand beauty of nature's massive army
look at the stars and play your guitar
life is a joyride that can't be denied

Fish

I finally had a chance to swim today and it was awesome. Usually when I open the gate and walk onto the deck, the pool is full of people treading water. Well, some bounce up and down in the shallow end, exercise of some sort I'm sure. Never very inviting to me; I'm a fish

Well, maybe I'm a grizzly. I stalk the deck growling at the water's inhabitants. Every so often take a swipe at them with my long arms. No reaction. Bastards. I head back home where I feed on fermented fruits and work on my temper. They'll be sorry.

I was born in California and the earliest pictures of me are running around on the beach. Growing up in the Chicago area, on every sunny day of every summer I was hanging out at the community's pool. I was in the water always; swam in school and was a fairly good diver. 

Of course when young I was involved in many sports. Participated in track as well where I ran and ran; racing around the track. Leaping hurdles with abandon, I was an antelope as well.

So not being able to swim a few laps, which my out of shape body needs, has been driving me crazy. I try different times of the day, always seems crowded when I show up. Last year while visiting, I only got in one swim the entire time I was here and that was in the unheated pool. Jo tossed a frisbee and I couldn't help but chase it down, even as it plunged into the water. Apparently on many days I'm a dog. In fact I remember being called a dog by many women, so must be true. 

Always had pools in the family after growing up and moving out of Illinois. The first home I bought in Michigan had an in ground pool in the backyard. Great selling point for me. Had a young stepdaughter and her and her friends had great times there. Hell, I had great times as well. Great diving board, not some crappy springboard, but one where you could actually get altitude. I scared the hell out of my second wife and friends many a time. I flip around in a pike position over and over because of course, I'm also a dolphin.

I've thought about the fun I've had in all the pools, lakes and oceans in my life. Great times all. I think, how do I get the people lazily hanging around in my habitat to move. I mean, it is my habitat, because I'm a fish. I dream about creating a large whirlpool that sucks them all into the vortex and down into the depths of the world leaving me my private water, but though the dream is fun the reality is they're still there.

Then finally, I show up and no one is in the pool. Oh yeah, my personal playground. I hiccup a few times to get the gills a moving and jump in. I read an article about humans and fish sharing that gene but I really don't know much about science or mathematics or anything else; hey, today I'm a fish.

But finally, a long glorious swim. Backstroke, sidestroke, breaststroke and all the damn strokes; yeah baby. Damn signs said no diving, but hell, a couple of quick back dives from the side of the pool were in order and how can anyone not do a can opener or some such dive that throws water all over the place? I leap in the air, spread my legs and grab my balls; The Preacher is what we called that when I was young. Seemed appropriate at the time.

Apparently, though I am human first, I am everything. 

I am a Blessing

That statement takes away all the fun of helping someone out.

Bring my in-laws some lunch, watch them do their praying over the food while holding my hand, then take them out to the local casino in Detroit. One of the few things they can still do that they enjoy. Couple of hours gambling, good fun, especially since they play penny and nickel slots; they aren't going home broke.

Back to their home, discuss the coming holidays. I volunteer to help them decorate, (they haven't been around for the holiday in years, usually in FL), and we set up the date for that to happen. They've also decided that I should cater the affair for them, (which they won't pay for), since I'm able and willing to do the deed. Great fun, I find devout catholics to be so charming.

Before I could escape, I'm hearing how blessed they are that I'm helping them. What?

So, here I am, big ugly guy, sent from the lord to take care of you bitches. Yep, that's me.

I am a vessel for the lord, I have no charity or humanity that is innately a part of my being.

I am nothing.