HALLOWED HALLOWEEN

For most of us, Halloween when young is about costumes and candy; hey, we were kids. I enjoy the sidewalks full of laughter and delight, and sometimes squeals and a little fright. There's always a few homeowners that get into the spirit enough to make their yard a nightmarish scene. 

The majority of the country will be dressed as Zombies, and with any luck maybe a few Zomneys. Doesn't matter if you're a theist, princesses and fairies, werewolves and vampires; creatures of man's imagination will be represented with glee. The fee for the entertainment is fairly cheap, just fill up the bags with sweet treats.

But fundamentalists try to ruin the fun, always worried about god getting some. Some perverted love, at least it would seem, is the only way to appease the beast.

If you haven't been introduced to those ruining the day, if this is something you haven't heard or seen, then let me tell you about Jesus Ween.

More horrible than your classic witch, almost as scary as a catholic priest, some of your neighbors have succumbed to unreason destroying this fun holiday season. Instead of candy and popcorn and toys, they've come up with a sneaky new ploy. We can't allow people to not hear about christ, so lets fill up their bags with ignorant tripe. We've got bibles and tracts, verses and jesus, proselytizing always is the only way to please us.

They know that many people have the wrong idea about jesus; when you hear what some people tell it's all about hell. But they have it right, and will educate the tikes, on what they should be doing to make everything right. 

The mission is simple, so we are up to the task; we're talking god here, don't give us any flack. We want to spread the good word around the world, making sure everyone has a drink of our swill. In the good ole USA, Canada too, global is the mission and we're going fishing. 

If you'd like to participate it can't be any easier, just say a prayer first and send us an email. The jesus ween group is calling halloween "World Evangelism Day," so I guess we can say they've declared war on this spooky day.

I'm making light if the organization, but they're actually scarier than my words may seem. This is the thought that goes behind their theme. Halloween is the only day of the year that you can freely solicit, interact and give gifts, without breaking the law. Pretty slick I think, if nothing else theists take advantage of every loophole in law they can find. On a day where the supernatural is on a child's mind, the brainwashing is easier. Their motives are not just or fair; more insidious and foul than a Halloween scare. 

They think they are preparing a child for greatness, when what is really happening is the foulest of things. They give bibles to kids to pass out as they walk, since they will be received well by families who can't turn a child down. There starts the walk into the darkness, they teach the children young to take advantage of some. They readily admit that getting kids to preach, teaches them early it's the right thing to do. It also teaches them to be bold and courageous, since it takes boldness to corner a man  and tell him about jesus.

I think it would be fun to contest their plan, I have many quotes and verses made by man. A little evolution, a little biology, a little science to open their minds. Maybe an experiment to help them in thinking, a toy that would get them tinkering. 

I find this another sleazy idea by the people that brought us jesus. They're losing ground so they take advantage of every situation. I told the tale before about the churches in Lansing, setting up haunted houses that paint a picture, of the horrors that abound created by gays, forcing children on their knees but not to pray. 

So maybe not this year, it is a little late. But now I have time to plan the debate. A little of Dawkins, a smattering of Dennet, a few little dinosaurs, pictures of space, science and technology that will take them to another place. 

Fight back. 

Jesus Ween.